Back to Gratitude

Yesterday, we celebrated Narra’s 3rd birthday. What a whirlwind of events for our little bug. There is more to come this weekend.

But with all BIG events, come the TEARS. Yup. Tears. By her. By ME.

Yesterday, Narra had a BIG meltdown. Perhaps it was the energy in the air, or what she fed off with me. But it was a big one. I am glad Kay and Al, my in-laws who are visiting from Vancouver Island for Narra’s birthday weekend, arrived when they did.

They practically arrived just as the last few tears were shed by both Narra and I. When I heard the doorbell ring and opened the door to see Kay’s smiling face, I flung myself into her arms and sobbed.

It seems I am a ball of emotions with everything that is going on right now and it’s very difficult for me to share this.

I am struggling right now.

Struggling with that pursuit of BALANCE.

Since my transition to a work-at-home mom, I have been finding it difficult to find that balance.

Being a stay-at-home mom is hard. Making sure you are MOM, being present for the care of your child is hard enough, then you add in the very necessary time to be a WIFE. And somehow you add in COACH, that time to be YOU, to that mix. Sending out those messages and inviting people to share in your journey, one that you are wondering was the right decision.

Again, ahhhh, so struggling to share this right now!!! Like how am I supposed to INVITE people to join me on this journey if, I myself am STRUGGLING??

But then I step back from this stress that I know is oh so very TEMPORARY and I bring myself back to GRATITUDE. I remind myself that before the breakthrough, there is a BREAKDOWN. I look back on everything that I have accomplished and I am thankful.

This time last year, I had a different stress. The stress of wanting to be home with my daughter on her birthday.

This time last year, I held back tears and said goodbye to her in the cold of the morning in our car at 730am as Daddy drove her off to daycare. I told myself that next year it would be different. Next year, I would be there on her birthday ALL DAY, so she wouldn’t have to celebrate with other people who I know loved her, but who didn’t love her only the way her Mama could.

And this time, THIS YEAR, I am here. Even with a meltdown, even with the struggle and the tears, I am HERE.

And if there is one thing I want Narra and to both remember about her childhood, it’s me being THERE, every step of the way.

THAT makes the struggle WORTH IT.

 

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Photo credit: Kate Neale Photography

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It’s Okay to Not be Okay

I love adventure. ❤️.

But for the last 2 days I had been TERRIFIED of leaving the house. Of taking Narra outside to play on her bike. Of going to the store to buy food.

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It’s totally not me. I love going to places and taking Narra to learn new things. And being out of the house is something I do without hesitation.

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But anxiety does that to you. It can turn you into someone you don’t know or recognize. And it can be scary to say the least. To feel like you’re losing who you are, to feel like you’re turning into a person so far from your truth.

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Yesterday, I took my own advice.

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1. Take the help. Ask for help.

2. Do the thing that scares you most.

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With help from my neighbours, who have become more like family, I was able to get out of the house with Narra yesterday and pick blackberries. They also took Narra for an hour so I could get dinner made and spend some one on one time with Eric.

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With the help from one of my friends, a fellow life-changer coach on our team, I made it to the PNE last night for a Ladies Night Out! and even went on a couple of rides that would usually scare me.


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I’m so grateful right now.

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For coaching, which has instilled in me this attitude to take massive action and show myself that I can change my current situation, but also for the many people in my life who support me and give me the courage to DO and be okay with not being okay all the time.

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Do you have advice for your “off” days? What do you tell yourself or those you love when they’re not feeling okay?

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Let’s support each other. ❤️

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#anxiousmommy #postpartumanxiety #postpartumjourney #postpartumdepression #intrusivethoughts

Karaoke = Self-care

No makeup, no hair brush, NO SLEEP. 😉.

I stayed out till 130am SINGING my heart out with some very special ladies. My tribe. My friends who take care of so many and who I’m proud to say took that time to take care of themselves last night. ❤️

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It’s hard being a mama, you often come last. Heck, it’s even ENCOURAGED by some.

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But imagine a pitcher of water whose responsibility it is to fill the cups of many, imagine when it runs empty. What then? You need to FILL IT. 

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Self-care takes many forms. Sometimes it’s a workout, other times it’s a healthy meal.

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And sometimes that looks like karaoke with your besties till the wee hours of the morning. 😉

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What does #selfcare look like to you? 

DIY LOVE ❤️ 

I’m a DIY mama. Always have been. 
There’s something about CREATING things that just gives me a HIGH!! 🙌
I’ve been busy making these babies for a certain party in September 👧🏻 and I’m having fun just letting my creativity FLOW.
I’m also an advocate for all genders. I’ve always been that, too. 😉
 We don’t do “boy” colours and “girl” colours in our home. Colours are COLOURS. 🌈 
I know it’s not like this in all homes (and I’m not one to tell ANYONE the right or wrong way to do things and live their lives) but I really believe THIS is something we should all be doing, just like being kind to one another and kind to ourselves.
It’s really important to Eric and I that Narra know that we should all love one another and love ourselves, no matter who we love, what colours we wear or what gender we identify as.


That is why these headbands I’m making aren’t “boy” or “girl” headbands. They are headbands for Narra’s friends. 😊
This is one thing that is so important to talk about with our kids (yes, the earlier, the better!), not just this #prideweek, but ALL weeks of all the year.
What is everyone doing to celebrate Pride?
Let me know if there are some events in the city we should be going to with Narra!
💌corinneahansen@gmail.com

My Past

3 Things You didn’t know about Me:.

1️⃣ I am a high school drop out.

2️⃣ I am a university drop out.

3️⃣ I have been ashamed of it for far too long.

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It wasn’t until I started coaching that I began to share my story. I started with the fact that I had postpartum anxiety. And when that became comfortable and I realized people weren’t running for the hills away from me and instead I was actually INSPIRING people with it, I let you all in on the secret that I actually suffered from depression as a teenager.

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What I didn’t tell you is that during that time, I actually dropped out of school. From age 13-17, I didn’t go to school. I didn’t even really have friends. I didn’t leave my house. I went through a MAJOR depressive episode back then that everyone I knew didn’t think I would make it through. Somehow I did. And at 18 years old, 2 years after the class I was supposed to be with, I graduated from high school with honours. I was proud but I was also ashamed. I kept telling myself I SHOULD’VE graduated with my friends. 

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But my dropping out didn’t stop there. After high school, I got into a really good university in the Philippines. I loved the writing classes, but then I didn’t love anything else. I never knew what was wrong with me. I should’ve been happy!! People were dying and crying to be admitted into that school! I loved learning the things I wanted to learn about, but I always HATED school. I was good at it, but I never liked it.

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But everyone around me told me it was the only way to get a job, to be happy, to be SUCCESSFUL and proud of myself.

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And so I kept going to school. And I kept quitting. I kept listening to everyone else except for MYSELF. I kept trying to keep everyone else happy but never thought about what made ME happy.

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I moved back to Canada and I finally found something I wanted to do: Teach children. But I also didn’t like going to school. So I finished my Special education Assistant certificate because it was a shorter program, always thinking that I would go back and become a teacher. Because you know, finishing a 4 year program is the only way to be successful and be assured of a job when you graduate. 😉

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Then something happened. I finally put my foot down and said, “Corinne, you can make everyone happy around you and make yourself sick with worry trying to please everyone or you can say, that YOU are worth living your life for. It’s your life and YOU should be happy in it.”

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It was a hard decision for me to make, to quit school permanently. For a long time, I thought I had made a huge mistake. But I have to tell you, I have been the HAPPIEST I have ever been since ridding it from my life. I have made space for the things I love to do, and I’m actually making a LIVING out of it. 

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I’m not against school for anyone! In fact, I think that you should definitely have post secondary education if your goal in life is achieved through it.

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But I know it wasn’t for me. 

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I’m glad I listened to my gut and QUIT being unhappy. Because that space that I created by ridding school from my plate was then filled by something I found to be my passion.

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Helping other women get healthy and happy for themselves and their families.

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I’m grateful I don’t need a degree in it. All I need is hard work, DRIVE and the heart to want to help people.

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That’s what coaching is. It is an opportunity to do what you’re passionate about, be healthy, be happy and INSPIRE others to do the same.

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I’m no longer ashamed of my past, in fact, I’m pretty proud of it.

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“High school and university drop out inspires her community and THE WORLD to work on their self-care.”

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I kind of love the ring to it. 😉

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Don’t be afraid of your PAST. It is there for a reason.

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If you have a PAST, use it to help others to be their best selves. ❤️ And please share it with me. I’d love to know YOUR story.

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💌corinneahansen@gmail.com

The Chair

Tonight, Narra asked to be rocked to sleep in the rocking chair..

It has been ages since we’ve done this. Our regular bedtime routine has been me sidelying and breastfeeding her to sleep, almost every night, with a phone in my hand.

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But tonight, I decided that I needed to be PRESENT. I needed to be all there.

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I left my phone downstairs and made the conscious decision to BE ALL THERE.

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Just like the good old days of rocking to sleep every night, I put on the “Bedtime Lullabye” CD. We must’ve listened to it 20 gazillion times. I set my Boppy nursing pillow on my lap, Narra happily and EAGERLY hopped on it waiting for her nightcap of breastmilk, or what she lovingly calls her “manos”.

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She latched on and away we rocked. I was instantly taken back to the many nights we spent in that chair. Nights, days, weeks, hours and hours. My bottom knew the perfect position, the best tilt, the smoothest ride to get a colicky, refluxy, developmental-leap, wonder-week, very VOCAL baby to calm down. I remember telling myself anything I could to get through those moments. That I wouldn’t be in that chair forever, that what felt like torture at the time, wouldn’t last.

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But I looked down tonight and realized that my baby was now a toddler. Her legs hung over the arms of the rocking chair like they never had before. She was growing quickly. She is grown.

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And suddenly, the chair I had always wanted to be out of, became the chair I never wanted to leave.

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Our bond was BUILT in that chair. The breastmilk, the tears, the laughs, the giggles and coos. The smiles and frowns, the ups and the downs. It all happened HERE.

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As toddler Narra’s eyes slowly closed and the last track of our bedtime routine CD played it’s final line, I knew I could probably start moving her to her bed and make my way back to my phone.

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But instead, I sat. I sat and stared. I stared and LOVED.

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It’s almost like she KNEW what WE needed. To fall asleep together in the place we first fell in love.

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Where did you first fall in love with your little? Go back there. It’s time to fall in love all over again. 💜

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💌corinneahansen@gmail.com

Chocolate-holic

I LOVE chocolate. Like so much. I don’t think I ever truly understood the POWER it had over me until I became a mom. 

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Oh wait. That’s a lie. I know EVERY MONTH what it does for me. 😂

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Yes, I am a regular menstruating woman who enjoys a good square of dark chocolate. There are health benefits, you know. Benefits that I couldn’t really tell you right now because I’m too busy admiring the chocolate deliciousness I made for my local challenge sisters I am seeing tomorrow! 😍

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I’ve made a Black Bean Brownie Cake!!! And thanks to the curb-craving powers of Shakeology, I won’t be eating any until tomorrow while I’m with my ladies. 😉 We have a play date planned with our kids. I will be meeting some of them for the first time and I couldn’t be happier!

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Our community of empowered women is GROWING! And we are happy to welcome more. But in the meantime, even if you aren’t joining our meet-up tomorrow, please enjoy this recipe! 

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Black Bean Brownie Cake
1 1/2 cups canned black beans, rinsed and drained
2 Tbsp cocoa powder
1/2 cup quick oats 
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 cup maple syrup or honey
1/4 cups melted coconut oil
2 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 cup chocolate chips
Blend all ingredients together, except chocolate chips, in blender until smooth and well combined. Stir in chocolate chips. Pour into greased loaf pan and bake at 350F preheated oven for 18 minutes. Allow to cool (or not) before serving. 

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Enjoy!It’s a TREAT yellow for those doing the 21 Day Fix. Life is all about balance with healthy eats and TREATS like this one!

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Want to know more about how to be supported in this lifestyle? Give me a shout! 💜 I’m here and ready to help!

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💌 corinneahansen@gmail.com