I have survived. And so will YOU. 

Here’s a #throwback to my return to the outside world after my first-ever panic attack postpartum.

.

I’ve been talking to a couple of moms lately who are in the thick of their postpartum and are fighting hard. I’m so proud of them. ❤

.

Their struggles have reminded me just how severe MY postpartum anxiety was and how far I’ve come.

.

It’s been over 2 years since my first panic led me to call 911 and eventually get the help I needed to work through my anxiety, depression and intrusive thoughts.

.

I’m so GRATEFUL to be over that part of my postpartum journey. Because in all honesty, I didn’t really think I was going to make it through.

.

This picture is of our family at the Vancouver Christmas Market, about a month after my emergency hospital visit and a month into starting on my medication. 

.

I remember being too afraid to leave the house that night (alone or otherwise), but I remember pushing myself to do it anyway. I also had the support and company of my mom-in-law and husband that night.

.

I remember feeling so horrible about the awful thoughts swirling around in my head, but forcing a smile for this picture.

.

I remember shaking while waiting in line for some cheesy noodles, not because it was cold outside, but because I was so afraid that my next panic attack would hit at that moment and I’d feel as helpless as the day I did when I was alone with a screaming two month old trying to get ready for her immunizations.

.

Today is a different story, and a different feeling. ❤

.

Today, even though I haven’t been 100% well, I left the house CONFIDENTLY with my two year old daughter, and our myriad of bags draped over our stroller. 😊

.

Today, even when Narra started screaming in public (which I really panicked over), I remained cool as a cucumber and even smiled at how calm I was during the situation. 🙏

.

Today, instead of shaking with fear, I found myself laughing while my best friend and I watched Narra make jump after jump from the mall bench and into our arms. 😍

.

It’s not always easy to look back, especially when looking back means reminding yourself of painful times. But sometimes looking back on the painful past can remind you just how STRONG you really are.

.

I have survived 100% of my bad days so far.

.

And so have you. 

.

So WILL you. 👭

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “I have survived. And so will YOU. 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s