Parenting is FAILING

Today I feel like I FAILED motherhood.
.
Because 15 minutes before this photo was taken, I locked Narra in the house while I watched her cry through the sliding glass door I held shut so she couldn’t follow me onto the balcony.
.
Because I was DONE. Because I needed a break. Because I was tired of explaining why I couldn’t carry her, make a phone call, get lunch ready and talk and look at her all at the same time. Because my every minute of the morning had been dedicated to her so I might have a minute to myself later just to breathe.
.
So she cried. And I watched her tears fall. And then I felt like shit.
.
I felt like a shitty mom for not being able to do the ONLY thing this kid wanted from me. Be there.
.
And then I remembered to cut myself some slack. I was doing MY best.
.
And then I remembered SHE was doing her best too.
.
In her tiny Narra ways, she was being the biggest and best version of herself. While I did my best to be mine.
.
I let the sliding door open. We hugged each other, both apologized and asked if we could try again.
.
And so we did.
.
And here we are.
.
15 minutes later, fed, no longer hangry, surrendered to the Universe and HAPPY.
.
Sometimes parenting is FAILING. And showing your lovely littles that you can come back from it.

 

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